


Of Metaphors and Metaphysics

by exbex



Series: Let Me Go Home [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Epistolary, M/M, Multi, Pre-Slash, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exbex/pseuds/exbex
Summary: I do not have Eric Bittle's adeptness at creating emojis. 
Check Please! belongs to Ngozi Ukazu.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have Eric Bittle's adeptness at creating emojis. 
> 
> Check Please! belongs to Ngozi Ukazu.

You could have warned me about the boner-inducing sight of Bitty with a shotgun.

_I’m Canadian._

Canadians have shotguns Zimms. 

_Ha ha, okay. You got me. I take it the trip went well._

You didn’t gather from Bitty’s IG?

_I did. Wanted to hear it from you._

It was great.

_I’m glad. Look, can I call in a favour?_

Sure….

_I hope it’s not too awkward._

Just tell me.

Do you want to skype?

_No, I just….okay, how do I know if Alexei is flirting with me?_

_Kenny?_

Oh my god, Zimms.

You realize that if you and Alexei get together, then that means that we’ll all have fucked except for Eric and Alexei, right?

_Well…_

I’m just saying, I could be down for a 4-way.

_Kent._

Alright, alright. First things first Zimms. If you hurt him, I will kill you. Slowly.

_That’s fair._

Damn right. Alexei too good, too pure for this earth Mashkov.

I gotta say though, you’re kind of going against type.

_I could say the same for you._

We kind of have the same type Zimms.

_????_

Guys who are out of our league. 

_C’est vrai. But you still haven’t answered the question._

Right. Sorry. Well, does he look at you like you’re the greatest thing since maple syrup?

_Well, I guess. Maybe._

Does he tell you how pretty your eyes are?

_Yes. Once._

Then operation Mashmann is go.

_What??_

Portmanteau. C'mon Zimms. You have a degree from a fancy university.

_Oh. Ha ha._

**

_Hey Bittle._

_Thanks for the pie, but you’re not subtle._

I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Zimmermann. :)

_Sweet potato pie is more of a fall dessert, isn’t it?_

I thought it would be more to your liking. Peaches are in season, but I’m pretty sure you had your fill of peach pie a while back.

Jack?

I didn’t mean it like that.

_It’s okay Bits. I’ll always remember peach pie fondly. :)_

You’re sweet :)

Have you made your move?

_Not yet._

Are you going for your usual? Yell at him on the ice for a few months, then ignore your feelings until the day you get traded and run across Providence to kiss him?

_Ha ha Bittle. You are sassy._

;) It’s okay, I sent Tater a maple crusted apple pie.

_You did not._

I did. :D


End file.
